When Those Feelings Come
by The Face Of Icecream Pick
Summary: Seto has been plagued with feelings for Mokuba that he shouldn't encourage. How will he get by when the one thing he wants most is what he can't have? (SetoMokuba, yaoi, incest)


A while ago, I wrote a fic called 'Forbidden Love,' and I read through it again, and it was poorly written, and now I hate it, so I wrote this new one here to make up for that poor excuse of a story. I hope you all like this one better, and I'll do my best to keep it updated if it is well liked. Oh, and for my disclaimer, I own nothing.

Seto sat at his computer working on a new duel monsters projector system, knowing that when it would be completed, it would be state of the art. After a long struggle with technology, they had found a way to make the monsters form with physical bodies by drawing the many particles and atoms in the air together into a denser state. It hadn't been thoroughly successful yet, because they could never get a full monster into physical form, and parts of it would remain in holograph form, but there was no doubt that they were coming much closer. There were a few problems with this whole set up, though, because of when the monsters would have to attack the opponents life points, and vice versa. There was a great possibility that it could result in many injuries, and probably even deaths, not to mention billions of law suits. Working around this complication would be hard, and thinking about it put many questions into the young CEO's head. He simply sighed and leaned back into his chair.

At the moment, he had other things on his mind than his work. He had been fighting with himself for a length of time over a large dilemma, no, crisis, that had come about, and he wasn't sure what to do about it. It was a disgusting, horrid thought that had been placed in his head by god knows what, and this thought had grown into a little monster that would suddenly surge him with desires and urges that he didn't want to have, but at the same time did. It was all a confusing state, and he was appalled at himself for not being able to dismiss this awful notion. How could this have happened? Such feelings weren't normal, but then again, he wasn't exactly normal, was he? No, just because he was a CEO with a pretty bad past didn't give him the right to use it as an excuse. Maybe, just maybe, it because of all that happened that had brought this on him. Seto sighed and closed his eyes. Perhaps when he opened them again, he would find himself free of these aches and everything would be okay again.

As he was about to drift off into sleep, he heard a knock at his door.

"Come in."

The door opened and inside stepped Mokuba. He smiled at Seto brightly, "Big brother, it's six now."

"Huh?" That's right, earlier that day Mokuba had gotten mad at him because of his tendency to over work himself, so he promised that he would come home at six that night, and take the rest of the time off to rest. "I can't believe you even went out of your way to come here and 'pick me up.' You're really sincere about my working policies."

"Well yeah. I knew that you'd probably forget if I didn't remind you, and if I had called, you would have said you'd be finishing up, and then I'd be waiting for you to come back for another five hours."

"You know me a bit too well."

Mokuba giggled slightly. It would be just like his workaholic brother to get lost in what he was doing, and forget to come home. It would probably remain a semi-funny idea, too, as long as it didn't actually happen. That would terribly suck. "Come on! I wanna go home already!"

Seto nodded, saved his work, turned off his monitor, and stood up. He took the time to stretch himself out a bit, listening to all of the cracking noises his body made from being in such a dense position all day. He picked up his brief case, and the two Kaibas walked out of the building and towards their home. Mokuba had even insisted that he stopped using the limo, just so he could get a bit more exercise. He didn't see why it mattered, though, considering he wasn't a fatty or anything. Oh well, health wasn't his biggest concern, but if Mokuba asked him to do something, chances were that'd he'd do it.

The thoughts came back to him again. He wished that Mokuba hadn't come to get him out of his office. He hated these sick thoughts that were passing through his mind right now. What was worse was that he wasn't able to tell anybody, no one who would actually understand and accept him for it anyway. He looked down at his younger brother, feeling at a loss, seeing the one person who was closest to him, but was the very last person in this world he could talk to about this situation. Then again, how could you possibly tell your own sibling that every time you look at them, hear their name, or see someone who resembles them, you suddenly have a terrible desire to be with them, in a way that siblings shouldn't be? These cravings he would often have on sleepless nights, thinking how easy it would be to walk down the hall to Mokuba's room and mumble something about not being able to sleep, just so he could get into the same bed with him. Of course, after that part he would go into imagining all of the possibilities that could divulge from such an event, followed by him catching himself and realizing how disgusting such thought were and he should be beaten for these ideas. Was it because they had grown so closely together all these years, only being able to rely on each other that these feelings developed? No matter what it was, it shouldn't have been happening, yet what Seto couldn't help but want more than for these thoughts to go away, was for them to actually happen.

Mokuba noticed a somewhat pained look on Seto's face as he stared off into his brain. What could he possibly be thinking about? He nudged him, prying him out of his little world into the real one.

"Seto, what's wrong?" Mokuba's innocent eyes burned Seto's soul. It was torturous to look into such harmless, naive eyes. He gave his brother a hollow smile, that being all he could manage. "Nothing. I was just thinking about the new prototype."

"It must be difficult, trying to make those monsters real, huh?"

"...they are real," Seto said under his breath to himself.

"Big brother?"

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. Thinking about work again." He laughed shakily, wishing that work was what was on his mind. It didn't matter, though, he assured himself. Even if he did feel the way he did about Mokuba, he would never return those feelings. It was a dark hole he had plunged into, and no one would turn the light on for him, so he might as well close his eyes and forget it. Sadly, such a thought was much less reassuring, and much more depressing. Why couldn't he just erase this pain from his heart? 

"Big brother, we're home." Sure enough, Seto had almost walked past the large front gate, due to his problem. He noticed Mokuba looking at him with a worried expression. He hadn't wanted to worry about him. That was one of the last things he wanted to do. Seeing his brother unhappy made him unhappy, yet seeing him happy made him feel worse. It was a strange set of circumstances.

"Big brother, are you sure you're okay? You don't look very good," Mokuba said as he looked up at Seto with a pleading look in his eyes to tell him what was wrong. It was making Seto burn again, and he turned his head away.

"Don't worry about it. It's not important. Let's just go inside." They walked through the gate and into the mansion, Seto leading and Mokuba close behind him. Mokuba was unusually silent, and didn't start a topic of discussion as he normally would. Seto mentally smacked himself for making Mokuba feel sad, and wanted him to get better again. At the same time, he felt happier himself that he wasn't the only one who was out of spirits, and that someone had actually realized that he wasn't alright. 

"...Will you be eating, at least?" Mokuba had shattered the silent barrier, his voice melancholy, and his eyes staring at the ground. Seto shook his head.

"No, I'm not very hungry."

"Okay, I won't eat either then."

Seto looked at his brother, not sure if he was trying to use the guilt trip to make eat something or to tell him what was going on. Truthfully, he didn't really want to do either at the moment, though the latter appealed most to him in the set of circumstances. His stomach was feeling queasy, and his throat had a choking feeling while speaking. Who would have thought that what goes on in the mind could also effect the rest of the body? His uneasiness had spread throughout him like a sickness.

He wasn't sure what all brought it about, but suddenly Mokuba's eyes teared up and he flung himself at Seto, sobbing into his white trench coat. Seto wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to hold Mokuba close and tell him everything was fine, but what if that led him to do something else? What if he proved that everything was not fine if he did something, if he lost control of his actions? He simply put his hand gently on top of Mokuba's head and rubbed his hair softly.

"Don't cry. Your face becomes awkward and its hard for me to stand three feet with you." '_You're beautiful when you cry,_' He thought to himself, not sure how to comfort his younger brother. It was so strange. He had always found it so easy to make him feel better when they were little. Now it was hard for him just to make Mokuba smile without feeling awkward.

Mokuba continued to cry into his moistened coat. He then looked up at him with teary eyes, "Where did you go? Where did my big brother go? I want to have Seto back."

Looking down at his poor, lost, lonely brother, Seto felt a tear fall from his eye, too.

Yay, there's ch.1 for you. If you liked it, I'll write more. I didn't know it would come out so dramatic when it started, but I tried to keep it within normal human standards. None of this, "I love you," and then they start ripping each other's clothes off, because that's kinda, I dunno, not happening. Well, I guess it could, and it probably has happened before, but normally people are much more slow when it comes to those types of things. I would think it would especially pertain to people who might have a thing for a sibling (yeah, for sheltered people reading this, that kind of stuff DOES happen. I got a kid at my school who has a thing for his sister... then again, he's kind of a jack ass to me, but whatever). Anyway, tell me what you think, and I hoe to be writing more soon.


End file.
